may cause seizures

Stupid North Carolina lottery commercial – 10X The Money …

The guy envisions what he would buy 10 of … all the things he envisions are stupid as shit!

10 Smartphones?  10 Tacos?  5 Pair of shoes?   All are stupid answers but my favorite … 10 gently used sedans (cars). Why would ANYONE buy 10 used cars if they won $100,000? It literally makes no sense whatsoever! Think about it … go on , I’ll wait.

Okay, I need to vent more – if you won $18 million you may go and buy a handful of special high end cars for your collection – that is understandable and what the horrible marketers for the NC Scratch off game were trying for – but again, it makes no sense.  If you won $100,000 would you buy 10 pieces of shit cars? For what? This one really irks me!

 

 

That was a joke I heard in 7th grade, which would have been around 1975. Now in 2011, some marketing agency for ‘Miracle Whip’ (that creamy white smooth substance) has decided to resurrect the old semen joke and correlate it with the spread! I especially like the ‘blasts’ of white on the TV screen at the end of the commercial.

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I ask this question … “If you see a woman tie a cherry stem in a knot, what does that mean to you? My next question then – via the Dr. Pepper commercial with Fergie – who produces a tied stem at the end of the commercial – what are they intimating? Ultimately, how does it sell soda?

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The bucket of chicken seen on the KFC commercials is fraudulent! First, they don’t even use buckets anymore and the one pictured on TV is brimming over with huge pieces. At the cost of KFC’s chicken these days, that bucket would cost at least $30!

Now when I was a kid, you could get a full bucket at a reasonable price – but definitely not today.

Dad is out doing yard and mechanical work and sees the opportunity to soil his daughter’s mini skirt by wiping off his mitts.  Mom and daughter find the skirt in the dirty clothes and mom makes sure that it gets cleaned so her daughter can go out ‘sluting’ about.  Yay! Tide!

MyLife.com – Small FAIL as they use “Chapel Hills, NC” as one of the result cities.

Time Warner Cable ad -

2 college girls struggle with a washing machine that has gone rogue.  At the end, the dad says he will call a plumber …

Okay – possibly an appliance repair person or maybe a disaster clean up company (water on the floor) … but a plumber?  What will a plumber do?

I’m no marketing genius, but I don’t think using negative statements or reverse psychology is a good idea in advertising.

Local Mazda dealer starts out with 3 ‘plain’ things you may like … but if you like these, you probably won’t like a new Mazda.

1) Vanilla ice cream
2) ??? I don’t remember this one
3) A cracker box vehicle – whatever that is

Bottom line – I like vanilla ice cream bitch! and I would never buy from this place!

This douche finally tries Activia and although yogurt is naturally smooth and simple to swallow, he has a hard time and feels the need to convey the message with his mouth full!

In a recent GEICO ad, a woman comes up and starts yelling at the gecko about a torrid affair they had a few years prior.  So this lady had relations with a lizzard – is that the message?